I cant keep lying to myself

I'm not over you. Things shouldn't have gone the way that they did but that doesn't mean i hate you. Believe me I tried with every once of strength left in my small heart to hate you. It's impossible. I shouldv'e been direct with my feelings instead of beating around the bush. The only person to blame here is me. For not growing a pair and directly telling you how I felt myself. Life has been so empty without you. Iv'e just been living day by day instead of enjoying every single moment. For the past 4 nights all I've been dreaming about is both of us. We were happy and nothing could ever make us fight. I don't want to forget. I want to make even more memories with you.